When Standing Is All You Can DO.

When it's all you can do to stand.

Remember promise.

Sounds so easy.
It's fascinating.

When what you're feeling isn't truth. Stand.

My knees, heart, will and mind are exhausted. I choose to stand.

If not for myself, then for the principles I live for.

Even though I don't see, even if I never see again, I know.

Even though.. even though.. even though.

I know.

My phone bill will be paid, My car will get gas, My bank account will rise again, I will have money for food and a passport and a plane ticket and tuition to finish school.

I'm strong, I'm loved, I'm cared for and I'm super fun.

I'm scared.


But I know better.

Where I've Been, Where I Am. Where I'm Going.

Where I've been:

Life has been interesting and exciting from birth.

I've been down in the dumps, I've been happy, I've been through junk.
I've seen the provision and the goodness of the Lord in my life. I've doubted miracles, healings, signs and wonders, provision and even the validity of God (even as I watched and even prayed for it to happen). I've seen the Gold dust that appears during a worship service at a church in northern Ca. I've experienced freedom from tormenting thoughts and actions. I've felt the spirit of God seem to explode in me and the sound of a word. I've felt my spirit leap.

I've sat weeping in the presence of God.
I've danced before the Lord.

This is all VERY real.

Where I am:

I'm sitting; stirring inside.
I'm back in a place where I owe tuition (1,600), have a mission trip to attend(2,500), gas to buy... bills to pay.
and My business has slowed to nothing.
I'm back in a place where I desire most to be present to the moment. To look into the face of God not for provision or growth or status... but for relationship. To love Him and be loved by Him.
I get to see people set free from rejection, failures and all sorts of torment. I'm in a school
I'm in a place where there's been SO much growth in me.

I HAVE to trust.
I MUST be present.
I CAN'T let go.
looking at my present circumstance where it seems I have nothing to offer.. and giving up looks to be the only option... I have to laugh and remind myself I was here less than a year ago, and I MADE it! These circumstances are a promotion.

Where I Am Going:

Guys... I can't express how excited I am for this next move.
I have made a connection to my own heart that I never knew I could experience.
These things will only grow. I have a promise to see hundreds of people set free in a single day. To see crowds run to an alter to receive Jesus. I can't, I refuse to give up now.
I'm running more determined to win and conquer than ever. Nothing will stop me.

Please consider partnering with me prayerfully and financially as I embark on this ridiculous journey to see the world through the eyes of the Lord. To run a race where the opposition is thick but the Goodness of God shines through. Partner with me as I pierce the darkness with light and love.
I've seen the power of the furious, unrelenting love of Jesus.
and no one I ever come in contact with from here on out will ever miss that.

I WILL see the captives set free.
I WILL see Jesus get his full reward.